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Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read. Want to Read saving…. Want to Read Currently Reading Read. Other editions. Enlarge cover. Error rating book. Refresh and try again. Open Preview See a Problem? Details if other :. Thanks for telling us about the problem. Return to Book Page. Preview — Beauty Queens by Libba Bray. The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras.

But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up?

Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness. Get A Copy. Hardcover , pages. More Details Original Title. Award Honor List Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Beauty Queens , please sign up. Any romance in this?

I read the description and there are only girls on the island Delaney get your heteronormative bullshit out of my face but yes, there is. Does this book have any deaf or hard of hearing characters? Florence Bernice Yes. The name of the character is Sosie Simmons. Enjoy the book! See all 16 questions about Beauty Queens…. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Average rating 3. Rating details. More filters. Sort order. Start your review of Beauty Queens.

Preheat oven to degrees. Whip until nice and fluffy. Just make sure one Preheat oven to degrees. Just make sure one is much more intelligent then the others , a handful of henchmen, a handful of open-minded hot guys with British accents, one hot eco-"terrorist", one crazy-go-nuts dictator, copious amounts of satire, and oz. Stir until well blended. Batter will be slightly lumpy. Pour into cupcake pans cuz cupcakes are all the rage, yo! Bake for: 35 minutes. Let cool. Whip until creamy.

Frost cupcakes then sprinkle with way too many unnecessary footnotes. Top each cupcake with a maraschino cherry that has been laced with an organic hallucinogen. Take those cupcakes and dumb them down. Dumb them down again. A little more One more time Okay, there you have it: the recipe for Libba Bray's Beauty Queens in cupcake form. Real review to be posted after the weekend. I want to make it clear, I don't hate Beauty Queens , nor do I like it. It was okay, overall.

I mean, sure, it did have it's moments. Not that Beauty Queens caused me to laugh out loud--because it didn't, especially not after the novelty of the "helpful" footnotes and commercial parodies wore off. They were fun for the first few chapters, then they became an irritation. Also, I don't particularly care for Libba Bray's brand of satire.

At times it was so overdone it only inspired sighs of frustration, eye-rolling and thoughts of, "that would have been funny if" or "that could have been more powerful if" from me. I felt as though I was watching one of those really bad read: not funny movie parodies, like Dance Flick, or Epic Movie. Yes, at times Beauty Queens is that much of a punishment, and then some. But that's not the worst part.

My major problem has to do with the fact that Bray's story had a great foundation. What about it? All those rules and shalt nots. They were no longer waiting for some arbitrary grade. They were no longer performing. They were becoming. They were. Sure, it's all a little contrived, but still it's a great jumping off point. Instead of doing anything worthwhile with it, Bray took that idea and made it into a Very Special Episode of The Facts of Life, except way more condescending and a ba-zillion times more preachier--it's not like the main message Bray is pummeling her audience with is new.

Girlfriend is preaching to the choir the entire time. And at no point does this book challenge one to think. Beauty Queens thinks for you, because thinking is hard, y'all. You wanna sell me on something? Give me a chance to think for myself. Show me both sides of the argument. Present me with questions that don't necessarily have an easy answer. Let me draw my own conclusions. Don't incessantly beat me upside my head with your answers, your way of thinking.

See, when that happens I tend to lose interest in what you have to say--even if I happen to agree with you--because you clearly think you're superior, that I'm not intelligent enough to come to the right read: your conclusion. And don't even think of telling me that some teenage girls need a book to do their thinking for them, that they need to be force fed the messages contained within Beauty Queens because their parents, their peers, the media has damaged them, tricked them into thinking otherwise.

Even if that is the case with some teenage girls, I fail to see how shoving a message down their collective throats--be it negative or positive--is the way to go about building up self esteem, or fixing identity issues. Moving on I don't fault Libba Bray for wanting to make this book funny, because Beauty Queens would have bombed royally had it taken itself too seriously.

But like I said earlier, she took the satire, the tongue-in-cheekiness, way too far. Beauty Queens is obnoxious. Beauty Queens is that know-it-all girl that you sort of want to punch in the face because she isn't as clever as she thinks she is; someone ought to bring her down a few notches. Anyway, because of Bray's lack of control every character has been reduced to a cardboard cut-out of a stereotype.

Beauty Queens has two really stupid blondes from the south, a really slutty girl from the midwest, a super sexually repressed girl from the upper-midwest, two minorities, a crazy pageant-head from Texas, A stereotypical lesbian, and a girl who is hearing impaired.


Beauty Queens

Her head ached, and she was wet. She remembered the plane pitching and falling, the smoke and screams, the panic, and then nothing. The face had apple cheeks and was framed by a halo of glossy black curls. The face above her shook from side to side, and then burst into tears. She pulled herself to a sitting position and waited for the wooziness to subside. A gash on her knee was caked in dried blood.

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