Kit for a transformer construction with a gravel covered flat roof and a detailed depiction of the metal door,the ventilation grill and the drain. The police denied this and the investigation, for what it is worth, confirmed their version of events with affidavits from witnesses. Fayollet from Nevers complained that even those who belonged to the syndicate did not show up for meetings. Inouvriers coiffeurs in Beziers won a wage rise from nine to thirteen and a half francs a day; in Perpignan, wages more than doubled, from six francs to thirteen and a half; in Marseilles they went from twelve to seventeen francs. Ask clients to pay five centimes dessage for a shave, ten for a haircut, and they would simply take their business elsewhere.

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I've been told by a little birdie on my inbox that my fan, May Hesham, is celebrating her birthday with a bit of quarantine blues. You are tired of Netflix and online concerts and positive messages from the mushroom people with yellow tshirts.

Everyone now is a mouthagaba and le virus has made life as exciting as a Coldplay song. You want to feel life again, to go out, to eat pasta with creamy salmon, to go to the beach and It's ok. Mama Fifette is here. Inchallah soon la pandemie will be over and you can celebrate your birthday with your loved ones.

So please join me in wishing May Hesham a Happy Birthday. May she feel less sad, find some strength to go on a little longer and remember that we are in a dark chapter but the book is still long. And remember that however alone you feel, your friend Sheerine Magdy please tell her that one "e" is enough loves you enough to reach out to me. And what a gift in life. You know what I hate? Kefaya ya Youssef ya habibi, let me be!! Walahi if I knew I would release a mini Karl Marx from my vagina, I would have done an abortion and just play Tamagotchi.

But you know who are the worst com Non non non! Youssef can say it but you Anya, mind your own business and buy un rasoir, ok? Fifette is done, Jean Claude van done. Too much bullshit! Yes I am privileged, yes I have chauffeur and sofragi but so what?

I have to live in Imbaba to be Egyptian? I have to listen to shaabi music to be authentic? I have to go to Africana to dance?

Kefaya ba2a! So please shut up Anya because I will not let your privilege judge mine. I prefer les Donald Trumps than les white saviors and their tuk tuk selfies and Palestinian keffiyehs. Wow things have changed in a week! I went down today in Zamalek and everyone was wearing des masques! Meme les pauvres! Haram must be hard for them because they have to smell themselves… Maybe now finalement they will know how we feel….

I felt that more months we would have reached le movenpeak and the country would be corona free but les gens are scared now because some traitres on the facebook are spreading lies and panic about how there are no beds! But people should prepare themselves! Mansour and I booked a suite at the Four Seasons in case we get le virus and they have very comfortable beds and if we need oxygene, we will just take a few masques from Egypt Air since nobody is using them.

Solutions pas panique les amis!! But chaque chose en son temps. Today it is not about le virus, it is about revolution. Youssef always had soft spot pour les noirs.

He loves the actor from Space Jam and he has poster of les black ekhwen in his room, Les Black Pampers ou je ne sais quoi. Where are you and all the sofragis!? Oh Mon Dieu, did something happen to Denzel!?!?! Pourquoi tout ce drame we kaman pendant le virus? Regarde Nini haram elle a que passeport egyptien and she needs Visa meme pour aller en Afghanistan!

A la maison, I open the TV and Papita brings me le dejeuner. Thank you to everyone who has been following and supporting Madame Fifette the past couple of months.

It really has meant a lot to me. I gave myself a challenge when the pandemic began: to dedicate one hour every day to writing words in order to regain the confidence and the discipline to resume my writing projects. I felt that creating a character about a simultaneously lovable and despicable bourgeois woman suffering under quarantine would be the perfect way to get back I started a project several years ago, The Democratic Republic of Zamalek, and it has remained dusty and untouched for a while because survival and procrastination got in the way.

Some of the characters and groups used in the diaries of Fifette are from that project: Papita, the 6th of Apron movement and the Illamounati are some examples. I now feel it is time to retreat and concentrate on developing and finishing that project and the positive feedback and enthusiasm I received from the Fifette posts have given me the momentum and the belief that my writings can find an audience.

After several potential funders have bailed out because my "imagination is too wild for the conservative Middle East", the organic success of this page truly means a lot to me. But thanks to you, Fifette has now become a secondary character in my project so her sassiness and endearing entitlement shall live on. Starting tomorrow, I will post the 5 short stories one each day that were already written pertaining to the Democratic Republic of Zamalek and after that will give you a weekly update on how Fifette has been doing during the apocalypse.

So please keep this page alive even if Fifette won't post as much. But I promise she will still post :. When Zamalek officially becomes an independent state, the battle for power truly begins. Today I woke up and decided to see les choses positives dans la vie: Ramadan is over, eid is over and Che Khiyara is far away in Sinai avec les chameaux et les shamans.

And there are some more important things to do than think about le virus de Tadros Ot el Nom Give me the Juice. I remembered ma mission before le corona went all Shia le Boeuf on le monde: bring down le maudit metro.

Le monsieur from Wikileaks, Jacques Dessange, had sent me secret documents that Because Bibi closed le tunnel du Hamas, les barbus needed a new underground passage between Gaza and Egypte so they can continue leur jihad contre le Gillette.

But the ilamounati made a deal that go both ways comme le nouveau Canal de Suez. Aux Juifs, they said you will have all of Palestine and aux Palestiniens, they said you will have all of Zamalek. Du genie! And how will they do this? By planting lamouns all over Zamalek to attract le sens de nostalgie des Palestiniens. Nobody till now believes me but Fifette has les documents secrets and they show the identify of their leader.

The Illamounati killed my friend Dessange en Janvier to make him silencieux and now only me knows the truth. And it was par accident kaman. Bien sur I thought it was about what coupes were in en but it was about le metro. Paul no hair before, Paul hair now…. Did he take it from la barbe de Khaled Meshaal as part of deal with the Illamounati??!! Oh Mon Dieu… what if le virus is how they will do it? Get rid of us so le Hamas can take over Zamalek… We have to save the island and I am starting a militia with Papita.

We have to find a way to get inside le metro and put du jambon partout to repel les islamistes. What is left of your love when he is wounded? When the light is switched off and all that remains are fragments of autrefois? When can I dance barefoot again on the sidewalks that were once filled with the scent of batata?

Oh Zamalek mon amour, the tears flow down my mask with my mascara from this maskhara situation which has made Masr mas khara. Ignorance is bliss and instead of living in fear, I would be au pub with mes amies and la jeunesse would be talking about police brutality and racism in the US while their sofragi serves them tea en toute finesse. But helas, we cannot unknow what we know; and it seems that our strategy is to treat le peuple like Kate Winslet treats Di Caprio: I love you but I have to let you go.

And as the economy will go on, It seems like we will stay forever this way, a nation where only a handful of people will be ok; hold on to that door and let the tide float you to bay ya beh; those who drown were never on the surface anyway. But for now we just have to play along, keep our heads up and try to remain strong, and it is undemocratic and unfair, that some get to go to la plage and others are glued to a chair, that most will collapse in silence and a few will buy their way into care, but que faire?

Crises only reveal what was already there. So tonight no jokes and no puns, no chic shots through la bonne, no punchlines and no class clown, laughter dissipates when the soul is run down. So as we walk towards the unknown, with noisy shibshibs or a wireless headphone, perhaps the only glimmer left to simmer is that feeling we call home. I am back in Zamalek with Mansour and les enfants, and all I feel like doing is embracing ce moment, for life is this country today is satire enough, so excuse Fifette for wanting to drink and she will excuse you for wanting to puff.

When every day resembles the last, when the future is hazy and life is confined to the past? When humans look at humans like a virus and the virus looks at humans like a host Last day in Sahel and afraid to go back to Cairona tomorrow. Le virus is partout there!! I cannot divorce p Men caught their wives watching lesbian porn, wives caught their husbands watching gay porn and children caught their parents trying to play 50 shades of yansoun with la bonne.

Even les enfants want to go back. They are about to graduate online from AUC and want to hit le job market. What is happening to my life??

Is Che Khiyara the only normal one now?? Walahi je comprends plus rien. Is God Salvador Dali?





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